$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
