ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
