Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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