so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
