that's an acceptable place to lick
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Are my feet made of real feet?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize
