well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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