Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
