Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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