They should really pass out barf bags in church
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize