I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i dont even know how to be here
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
