i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
