we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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