You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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