***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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