# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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