I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
