Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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