anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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