ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
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U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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