Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize