You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
