I got chris browned last night
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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