arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
