I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
