haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
