so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
