I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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