Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
