i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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