Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Randomize
