i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
