last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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