At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize