A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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