who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
