How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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