2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
