Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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