i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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