I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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