You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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