covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
