he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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