bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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