all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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