Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
should my penis look like a turkey
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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