i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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