he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
