you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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