I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
