Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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