Pappa wants mamma naked
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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