so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
