You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
