How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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