I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
