I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
