but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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