Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
